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sQ.(uAt)s:Off Season Training


It’s off-season training; everybody’s doing it.

Lawn Jockey and Bubbles are jack’n out the Cross-Fit looking for a sly advantage to strike on the peloton.

The Tortuga is in over his head (singing his “Song to the Siren”) riding the bike, going to spin class like a dizzy love-struck dervish, lifting weights; it’s like the candle burning brighter before it goes aLL extin(s)[q]uished.

The Padooch is trying to get some Cross-Fit to tighten up the potato induced amoeboid bloat (he’s hopeless on his own).

Uber-Pudge is Paddle-Boarding (stand-up straight you iDiOtT!) tRying to wane the wedge.

The Mexican is Squat’N his brains out [with what little grey matter he can bring to bear] [Week-5].

The mighty Pumbaa is suffering a cardi’jack’nduced stifle and Tube-Top is stuffing down dinner nightly after 9:00pm and starting to notice he’s getting his own padooch on.

YellowMan’s beyond hope coming into the off-season 40lbs overweight with the eat’N holidays calculating their attack on his thin resolve to resist temptation and I’ve seen no attempt on his part to mend the errors of his consumptions.

If you’re not oN a program you better get moving.  Winter (t)ain’t forever.

Jack-It Out aNiMauX!


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